Wordless Wednesday: Not Friends AT ALL

April 1, 2008 SugarPets

Check out the new Wordless Wednesday HQ!!
View More Wordless Wednesday Participants

Overheard At Chez Sugarpants (In The Last 5 Minutes)

March 17, 2008 Sugarpants Family,SugarPets

“She will eat all of Mr. Potato Head’s parts!  Clean up the toys – your childhood is over.  Thank Mylie.”

“Ruffy is just breathing hard in my ear.”

“But I WIKE the taste of Mylie’s tongue Mom!”

“MYLIE IS CHEWING MRS. POTATO HEAD’S FEET!”

I Wish I Had a Camera Right Now

February 13, 2008 SugarHubs,Sugarpants Family,Sugarpants Herself!,SugarPets

Tonight has been a comedy of errors. SugarHubs is out of town tonight, and has come in 1st in a poker tournament where he won a $600 coin which is a ‘buy-in’ for a larger tournament at the end of March. This ‘buy in’ affords him the chance to play against 124 other guys for a quarter of a million dollars. Totally cool, I know.

But I’m here. With two kids and two dogs.

The SugarSpawn had been sprinting from one extreme (playing loudly and screaming) to the other (fighting loudly and whining) and back again since the after school hour. They barely sat still for the dinner I made, starting by gobbling so fast and exclaiming how good it was to 4 seconds later of “We’re full, can we play Wii?”

At least Dylan read to Thomas tonight. The peace lasted long enough for MiniDog Miley to inhale a furball and choke on it. And choke and choke and choke on it.

I kept scooping up the dry heaving pup and transferring her from carpet to tile in the rec room, hoping for a positive outcome and gagging the whole time. Nothing was coming up but the noise made me really queasy.

You wish you were me at this point, right?

While shuttling The Pukey Little Puppy across the room, I lost sight of my sanity and allowed the offspring to get a little rowdy. Next thing I know they’re wound like little freakshows for the 47th time and I’m wishing I could pick them up by their heads and let their bodies jiggle below them like our characters on the Wii.

I snap out of my parenting fantasy as the MiniDog heaves up the most disgusting mound of GOD-KNOWS-WHAT on the carpet. Ugh.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spot Thomas smack Dylan and just as quickly, Dylan smacks Thomas’ backside.

I glared at them both. “BED.”

“But he…”

“WE. DON’T HIT. IN. THIS. HOUSE. BED. NOW.”

Thomas was already up the stairs and gone and Dylan started to protest more only to be met with, “BED. DYLAN. NOW.”

He pounded up the stairs like a 15 year old girl. Sigh.

Yes I speak in staccato when I’m frustrated. If I don’t, I turn into the unlikable Yelly Mom. You might have heard of her.

Alone in the rec room, with puppy under my arm and a curious horse (Ruffy) sniffing the air, I crate the dogs so I can clean up.

*gag* *gag* *gag* *I wish I had a HAZMAT suit. *gag* *gag* *gag*

Feeling like I (desperately) need cool air on my face, I take the dogs out front for some fresh air. There’s more snow in the sky than oxygen, but the kids are in bed and it’s only 7:50. That’s kinda good. It’s peaceful outside as the snow falls in big fat flakes on my jacket and mitts.

I love the quiet of a new snowfall and tonight is no exception. It’s lovely.

Inside, back to Calm Mama, I kiss the kids goodnight and head downstairs.

I curl up in the recliner with my laptop and MiniDog jumps on to the footrest. She gently paws at my legs so I’ll open them, crawls between my knees and sticks her head under the laptop.

Yes, right into my crotch. She’s been sleeping there for 3 hours.

That’s why I wish I had a camera. Nothing would top this evening better if I could take a picture of my warm crotch for you.