Food Confessions

November 26, 2009 It's On Like Donkey Kong, Muffintop

So it’s been 3 days since Adam and I started the Avita-Sugar bet and I truly thought my downfall would be food.  I mean, once I’m in a groove at the gym, which truly sets in after a day where I’ve run (I crave it – it’s so sick and weird, more on that in a sec), I’m good to go.  But I think losing weight is 30% exercise and 70% food.  I read that somewhere and it’s always stuck with me.  When I did South Beach and didn’t exercise, I lost 10 pounds quickly.

Confession: the reason I like to run is so I can eat ice cream.

I love food. Like many, I love food more than I’d like to admit.  So much so, I hide my “extra” eating from everyone, Daren included.  I once had this friend I worked with who smoked during the day with everyone on their smoke breaks, but she hid it from her husband.  He was in some sort of respiratory field and he hated smoking.  She would freshen up before returning home every single night and not smoke again until work the next day.  I asked her once if she craved it over the weekends.  She did, but she was so ashamed, she just didn’t smoke.  She thought he would divorce her if he found out.

That’s how I am with eating, minus the divorce part obviously.  I wait for Daren to be asleep on the couch or at hockey to sneak goodies – usually sweet stuff – and mow down.

I’m not proud of this – in fact, I’m very ashamed that I haven’t been able to control this until now.  I’ve done it all my life.  It probably stems from having a mother who portion controlled everything on our plates and how she made us ask for anything from the kitchen, including a glass of water.  Acknowledgment of the problem, check.

So in reading up on the best ways to get eating under control and chock full of nutrients, I started a food diary.  I’ve never kept one for longer than a week, but I found an iPhone app that keeps your info and I make myself use it.  It also records your exercise, and tracks your poundage daily.  (It’s called LoseIt!, and it’s FREE.)

What I’m quickly learning is that if I choose the right foods, I stay fuller, longer.  (In my head I knew this but always rationalized these thoughts away when a tempting treat was available.) While Daren and kids have always eaten healthy, I have gained a lot of this weight because I eat stupid things.  Confession # 2: many days I would have a Rockstar Roasted Coffee (sometimes 2, though you’re not supposed to do that) and nothing else all day until dinner, so many times I ended up with headaches.  Then I’d gorge all evening.  Confession # 3: some days I would eat nothing but a bag of Smartfood along with that Rockstar in the morning and then wake up in the night to throw it up because of the heartburn.  SMRT.  Not.

My metabolism?  My body?  She is confused.  She is so used to starving, binging and purging, (and often just binging) that this last 3 days have been an awakening.  With this little plan, I hope to sort her out.

I have made myself eat a healthy breakfast.

I have taken the time to make and eat a healthy lunch.

I have drank water like a freaking fish.

Dinners are always a bit wonky with the paper route and the kids’ sports but I managed to get it right all week.

I have stayed in the proper calorie zone and I’ve only been super-hungry once when I got busy doing things with the kids and had a late dinner Wednesday night.

I have recorded every calorie, even the semi-bad ones made possible by homemade Rice Krispie squares.

I have gone to the gym three days running. Literally.  Running.  Dudes.  So happy to be running again, I can’t even tell you.  The craving for running is so fucky and weird and awesome.  I love it so much, except when I’m doing it.  I just like the aftertaste of running. Ha.

And though it’s only been three days, I feel so. damn. good.

Last night I slept like a log.  My focus is returning, I’m getting things done that I’ve been meaning to do.  I feel GOOD.

I feel tight though.  Running tightens muscles and tomorrow I’m treating myself to a Yoga class. I was thinking of running beforehand but is it bad manners to show up to a Yoga class all sweaty?  If I have to ask, I’m going to assume it is.

My point: I’m back, bitches!

p.s. as of this morning, I’m down a pound.  It’s probably water, but I’ll take it, thankyouverymuch.

p.p.s. This week has been one thing after another tragedy/stress-wise,  and normally I would have bailed on this 10 times over, but I haven’t.  Thanks for the push Adam, and thanks to everyone who commented on the last post for all your encouragement.  It truly means so very much.

p.p.p.s. If anyone has recipe sites to share, I’m mostly sticking to South Beach type foods, and my husband would be grateful if I never again made tilapia the way I did on Tuesday night.  The word “drywall” was tossed around.  I used olive oil, limes, lemons, salt, pepper – but apparently not enough.