Today I turned 38. For the last month or so, I’ve been thinking about turning 40 and every time I thought about it, my stomach did this weird ker-flop. See, the thing is, I’m a fun person. I love to be silly. I love to hang out with friends, take a break from work and kids and school, and simply have FUN.

Somewhere in my brain, I think that this all will end when I turn 40.

I don’t know where this slight panic comes from, except that I’m afraid that life is going far too fast and I have so many things I want to do before I die.  That and life is going so fast because I’m having so much fun!

Don’t worry, I won’t bore you with a 50 page bucket list. My bucket list is pretty short outside of being a nurse, getting my degree, masters & finally, becoming a nurse practitioner by age 46. My bucket list beyond that includes risking my life in several ways, just like every other bucket list you’ve ever read. I want to scuba dive, and jump out of a plane, and run a marathon (hey, that could totally kill me).

An aside: every time I type marathon, I type marathong and have to correct it. The friction alone of me running a marathon in a marathong could power a small country, of this I’m certain.

Something, at 38, I have realized:

I am beautiful. Not in a supermodel kind of way, because, let’s face it, Photoshop isn’t a live app yet. I’m beautiful in that I still have my real boobies, I’m nice to old people, and I am a good friend.

Wow, that last bit makes me sound like a giant douchebag. Look at me, I’m so awesome! (Even though I am.)

Whatever. It’s true. I love life and it shows. I’m a silly sausage. Sometimes I get flack for that from friends who, well, aren’t as fun. And the kicker? I get flack from younger friends. I remember being judgy in my 20′s and my early 30′s and I’m SOOOO glad I kicked that attitude to the curb. Now I don’t care what anyone thinks of me. The flack I occasionally get only makes me laugh.

Happy birthday to me!

No matter your age, you should like some stuff about yourself. Tell me, what do you like about yourself?