“You Suck.”

“You Suck.”

I have heard this, in one form or another, many times since I started school last year.  I’m not gonna lie, it kinda hurts.

Between school, kids, the husband, the house and trying to maintain my sanity by sleeping and exercising enough, I have said no to many things:

– Girls nights.  Girls nights in PJ’s, with wine and too much food and lots and lots of laughs.

– Parties that involve my credit card. You know the ones – Tupperware, Fantasia, Pampered Chef, etc.  Not really parties, but still a fun night to hang out with the girls and do a little financial damage.

– Actual parties. Fancy ones, or in the case of tonight, several Halloween parties where I could have gotten dressed all skanky and had a really good time.

– Several dinners with my family/husband’s family.

And for the record, I really hate missing out on all this stuff, but I need to put school first.

I’ve said yes to a few things: dates with my husband, a family stag ‘n’ doe whereby I lost my dignity by selling Jello shooters in my ham-covered socks (I don’t even know what happened that night), a wedding, a play, and quite a few coffee/lunch/cross-border shopping dates.

I have plans to see my sisters and besties near the end of November.  December looks quite insane once exams are over – especially with family stuff.

I said no to four separate events today, and I felt terrible about it.  I know I can’t be everywhere. I certainly know that my school workload is not conducive to a crazy-ass social life.  But I chose this.  I want to be a nurse more than anything. I’m excited. Driven. Happy.

So when I say no, please don’t take it personally, and say to me, “You suck.”

I am doing the best I can.

And I don’t suck.