Lightbulb

June 28, 2011 Uncategorized

I’ve been sleeping like a newborn. Like, at every opportunity.

I’ve given up on many fitness goals just because I couldn’t finish the hour. I’ve walked out of the gym before the class was over, slumped into my car and very nearly cried over feeling like a failure.

I’ve been nauseous.

I’ve taken a pregnancy test, convinced I was with child. (I’m not.)

Finally, I dragged my sorry ass to the doctor and told him everything. He ordered bloodwork.

My iron is low.

I can’t start iron pills until my antibiotics are finished on Friday, but at least there’s a reason I feel like a sorry sack.

My doc & chiropractor have ordered me to stay away from running – give my body a break.

I’ve gained weight.

I feel useless.

I’m just so damned tired.

In other news, I got 91% on my extra course I took ahead of next year, so yay.

I fell asleep twice while writing this on my phone.

Nite.

Oink-shoo, oink-shoo…

On Spanking

June 22, 2011 I Love My Family

I have pretty strong opinions on parenting, though my biggest one is that what works for one family, doesn’t work for every family. I’m at a stage in my life where I’m happy to live and let live.  If you love your kids and you treat them well: feeding them, enriching their lives with activities, listening to them as much as you talk to them, and making sure they get enough sleep, hugs and kisses – you’re good to go.  No need to debate things that won’t matter in 10 or 20 years like cloth or disposable, formula or boobs, and the exact number of hours a child should be exposed to Super Mario Brothers.

We’ve been at this parenting gig for nearly 13 years, and our parenting rules are rock solid. At the same time, sometimes things change and the great thing about parenting is that you can adapt what worked on Thing One to something that will work better for Thing Two.  Seeing as they are two different people and all.

Recently, my attention was drawn to an article discussing a mother who lost custody of her daughter because she spanked her.  Now, of course, there are 50+ comments on both sides of the debate.  I have tried to wrap my head around everything that would lead a parent to this place, I really have – but I can’t.

Spanking, in my opinion, will matter to your child in 10 or 20 years, and I wish this debate would be put to rest and that no child, anywhere, for any reason, is spanked because of something they did wrong while they’re so small and just trying to figure the world out.  Part of that figuring out means testing boundaries, pushing buttons and generally being a pain in the ass to Mom or Dad.  That’s how they learn.  They need the room to stretch and figure out right from wrong. They also need to feel safe, and I think spanking completely shocks a child into the reality that their innocence, their ability to trust, can be shattered.

Here’s the thing: one of our rules is that no one in our house hits another. Period. End of story.  I was raised with force and belittling and for me at least, those two things go hand in hand. My children will never know what it feels like to be invisible, neglected, or abused.  They have opinions and feelings that I swear on my own life, I will protect.  They will always know love in their home.

That said, shit happens. No parent is perfect.  Parenting can be frustrating, complicated and make you feel more vulnerable than you have in your entire life.  It can be raw right from day one, when you realize you will never love anyone as much as you love your kids.

I have walked away from my children on more than one occasion, because of anger.  I have given myself (and them) time outs, whereby we both can regroup and come back to a civilized place or warmth, as they grow.  I can proudly say I have never, ever hit my children for any reason.

I guess that is a result of how I grew up. I tiptoe gently through some pretty hefty feelings about this issue. I can’t think of one instance where anyone should lay their hands on another living thing in anger, or in an attempt to change behaviour. I can’t think how that would solve anything, when consistency and guidance seem to work just fine. Getting down to your child’s eye level and talking (in their age-appropriate terms) works to improve communication, and teaches your kids to cope in stressful situations as you are setting an example.

My opinion is that no one has any reason to hit another person or animal. Period. If you do spank, WHY? What gives you the right?

For Dawg

June 21, 2011 Friends

Sending love and light…

…we have never forgotten.

xoxo