Dear Internet Boys,

Sit down.

We need to have a chat.

We welcome your opinions.  You are sweet to us, have great insight, and help us to understand you and your views on how the world operates.  Most of you are that way and we love the way you love your family, and most especially, your wives.  We love being friends with guys who are good husbands.  We love being friends with guys who are Good People.  We love being friends with guys who respect us.

Some of us (you included) have had growing pains over the years, some of them made public by blogging and Twitter, and you know what?  We ALL make mistakes, and that is OKAY.  We’re human.

I’m really really big on forgiveness.  I think I’ve managed to patch up nearly every situation where I didn’t feel the option of walking away was favourable.  In some cases, I did walk away, and that is only because some people are so malicious, toxic and vile, that there is no choice but to walk away out of pure self-preservation.

In one case, however, I have walked away quietly, but I have a shadow.  This shadow never publicly acknowledges my existence, but privately sends me messages of flirtation and has tried to become my friend despite my chronic ignorance of him.

Anyone who knows me in any capacity, knows that I am 3000% deeply, madly wholeheartedly in love with my husband.  There is no other man in the entire world that could ever top him in any way possible.  I was lucky enough to find the man of my dreams, marry him quick before he got away, only to later find out that he is the most special person in the world and a perfect fit for me.  He is my my rock, my soul mate and my best friend.  He is the one who I turn to in times of joy or sorrow.  He is the one who has held my hand through Hell and back.  He is The One.

That’s pretty clear, right?

So when The One hears from his lovely wife that someone is privately messaging her in such a way that He Who Checks His Email Once a Month is considering a “Fuckin’ Twitter Account,” be wary about messaging The One’s wife again.  EVER.

He trusts me.  He trusts that I do not engage in activity that would make him question me.  He is right to trust me.  He trusts me to be good friends with men who also love their wives the way he loves me. He knows that guys and girls can be friends.  He is not the jealous type, nor does he lose his shit when another guy looks my way or even flirts with me or vice versa.  But there is a line, and since that line was crossed at some point by one or more of the Internet Boys, be warned that he knows who you are, he has access to anything he wants to read in my accounts and while he honestly doesn’t care about who is doing what with anyone else, if you are harrassing me in such a way that makes ME feel uncomfortable, there will be a problem.

So, dear Internet Boy who has preyed upon at least 25+of my friends under the guise of knowing OH SO MUCH about mental illness and depression, I hope you understand that a) us girls talk and we ALL know you’re a total douchebag creeper; b) no, we do not want pictures of your penis and c) CUT IT THE FUCK OUT.


The Women of The Internet

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