Deep Breath

September 30, 2009 Stuff I'm Thinkin'

I see the doctor tomorrow (here’s why, if you’re new here).  I’m scared.  These issues are very real, but I feel really stupid when I talk about them – like I should just get over it.  When I try to explain it to anyone in person, I sound ridiculous.  So I printed off that blog post and I hope she’ll listen as I try to explain it.  Those of you that know me in real life, might know that I kinda stutter over words and can’t chain thoughts together well into sentences when I am anxious.

Sometimes I really wish I had a Mom to go with me to stuff like this.  To speak for me when I can’t find my voice. I found myself thinking about her this morning and wondering how she is.

Then I push her aside, again.  I have to remind myself that she isn’t the mother anyone deserves.  I have to remind myself that she hurt me deeply, repeatedly, through my entire life.  I have to remind myself that I let her go.

There will always be that longing I suppose.  You were never mine.

I think sometimes we have to stop stepping back to look at old photos in order to move forward to take new pictures.

(Sortof) Wordless Wednesday

Sugarpants Family,SugarSpawn

I’m breaking my own rule about not posting my kids’ pictures on my blog.  Because oh my gosh…well, you’ll see.  Thomas will be getting his own uniform (this one is Dylan’s and is WAY too big) after the first 2 weeks of “Kung Fu” (karate).  I have to tell him Kung Fu = Karate just like I have to tell him that smoked turkey deli meat is turkey bologna.

“No more pictures, Mom”

Things You Can Say When You’ve Been Married This Long

September 29, 2009 Uncategorized

The wife:

1) Not tonight honey, I’m crampy and constipated as hell.

2) If you want me to honk on bobo, you gotta come home right after hockey because I’m bagged.

3) I need you to pick up Midol, chocolate, bring it home and go back out.  Come back in 7 days.

4) Could you NOT pretend my nipples are chew toys?

5) pew pew! pew pew!

The Husband:

1) I cannot believe you got milk in my eye from way over there!

2) Did you fart?  Oh wait, that was me. {grin}

3) Fuck you complain a lot.

4) I just need to drop a deuce and I’ll put out the garbage after that.  Where’s that Cosmopolitan you bought?

5) Wooonnnppp…. Woooonnnppp…. come play with my lightsaber, baby.

*Lightsaber sound courtesy of Flingers.  FLINGERS!

and others: