The Shitass Shit Day From Shitville
January 24, 2009
Nothing went right today. Like, seriously, all that was missing was a raging case of The Menses.
This morning I woke up with plans to meet Tiger (shutup, I’ve called him that since we met and that’s what I’m calling him here) after he was done school at noon so we could go to the Home Show before we had to come back to Pleasantville and pick up Tomahawk from school. Blade had a sleepover to go to and the kid’s mother told me she would pick him up so I only had one kid to worry about.
I also wanted to hit the laundromat right after dropping the kids at school too since I’m out of all the good panties.
Instead Tomahawk through the biggest shitfit right as we were leaving to go to school, making us 10 minutes behind the schedule I needed to keep to load the laundry into the car. I literally thought my head was going to explode with the rage I was holding in. He was inconsolable, crying loudly. I don’t do loud in the morning.
We got to school on time and Blade could not wait to get out of the car. I told him to look for me after school since I’d have his gift for the birthday party and his overnight bag. I get Tomahawk to his class and hug him and tell I love him, hoping he will have a good day since we had a tiff and all. Secretly I still want to throttle him since he’s pouty, but at least he isn’t crying anymore.
Bob the Builder needed to see me to pick taps for the bathrooms and kitchen so I headed over there after picking up the gift for the birthday kid. After shooting the shit for 20 minutes, the last thing I wanted to do was head home, get the laundry and hit the Lmat.
All the while, my sites were down because Bluehost had a heat issue in the room where my server is. That pissed me off – it lasted hours from what I heard. Which sucks because we were nominated for the 2009 Bloggies over at Craftastrophe and don’t need this in the first day. Gah! I don’t care so much about winning, but the traffic is sweet!
So I headed into our old city, hit the Starbucks (we don’t have it in Bumfuck or Pleasantville) and ordered a Caramel Frappacino. The kid who served me was more chipper than anyone should be, even those working in the coffee places. Further to that, he offered me pastries and when I said “no thanks,” he replied, “oh you’re familiar with our pastries then!”
Uhhh, I think he just called me fat. At least that’s what I heard. I was feeling quite girly this morning. And by girly, I mean bitchy and oversensitive.
I forgot to tell him no whip cream and you know how the fraps come with the dome lid and the hole on top? My whipped cream was oozing out of the top. He made no effort to fix it and I swear he grinned, knowing I would have to lick it up to avoid having it spill in the car. Fucker. I swear he was laughing at the thought of fat housewife going down on her frap.
Things went okay at Home Depot and meeting up with Daren later, though the Home Show brought on a stupid tickle in my throat and I ended up hacking through the whole thing. (I think this crapartment has mold and that is why I have this chronic cough.)
I went to the school to pick up Tomahawk and ensure Blade got off okay to his party. Except the mother didn’t show, and the kid? Left without Blade. WHO DOES THAT? Blade was bawling, I had to track down the mother and Bob the Builder wanted to show us the floors before he covered them in paper to protect them for the next 3 weeks.
I call information and talk to the Gramma who assures me I said I would drop Blade off. Uhhh no. I didn’t. It was all arranged via email and I don’t even have the mother’s address so whathefuckever. The Gramma was kinda bitchy with me like it’s my fault but I ignore it and take the address. We get to the house, see the floor and then I head out to find this address. Which is impossible to find. So I call the mother and she’s snippy because the movie starts in 40 minutes, 30 minutes away and apparently this is my fault? Like mother, like daughter.
She rambles out some shitty directions and I try every which way from the marker she mentioned – no dice. I call her AGAIN and tell her where I am so she can meet me. She gets to the parking lot where I am and is all like, “I’m gonna need to buy you a MAP before you move here!” She’s all smiles and I’m all bitchy-fake-smiles. And I have to be nice because our kids are friends and they play hockey together and I really like the other moms on the team etc etc. As I’m driving away I notice the Gramma is staring me down like I’m a fucking criminal. Nice.
Since Blade was going to the movies, we promised Tomahawk we would take him to the movies too, to see “Bedtime Stories” but by the time we drive all the way to old city and get the paper, we’ve missed the only showing in the city by 20 minutes. He is super disappointed and crying. Total suckage.
So we drove all the way home, rented Wall-E for Wii and played with him all evening. I even fed him popcorn right in his mouth because he didn’t want to get his hands dirty and make them no good for playing with the Wiimotes, which totally made me laugh.
Thank God today came with a good ending because all the driving and the near-tears incidents and bullshit was enough for one day.
January 24th, 2009 at 3:30 am
Dear Karen, I am 99.9% sure that the salesperson meant their pastries were disgusting and that you must have had one before and found them disgusting…as he didn’t seem shocked you wouldn’t have any.
I wish I could give you a big hug cousin, we live too far away from each other
And birthday kids mom? TOTAL DOUCHEBAG. Gramma? Also a douchebag.
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January 24th, 2009 at 11:42 am
I hate to think what the guy meant about the pastries, but you being fat wasn’t what sprang to mind. Taste neither… Maybe I should just stop on this train of thought. Big hugs and hope tomorrow (today now, I guess) starts looking up for you.
x
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January 24th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Sounds like you got a good ol’ fisting yesterday.
Hope today’s better because THAT was totaly suckage. Too bad you didn’t have time to stop and get the mom a gift before you met up with her. She sounds like she could use a cold hard fist as well.
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January 24th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Dude. I am SO stealing that line.
“I’m not fat, I’m just familiar with pastries.”
Awesome.
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January 25th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
The worst part about having kids is having to deal with some of their friend’s parents. That grandma and mom sound like complete bitches. Ugh!
Hopefully you’re having a great day today!
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January 25th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
This: “I was feeling quite girly this morning. And by girly, I mean bitchy and oversensitive.” You know I know. I HATE that feeling.
Mostly that feeling is followed by shitty days that remind me not to get out of bed.
I’m glad it’s over. Shit days from shitville. Teh Suckage.
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January 26th, 2009 at 6:03 am
A full day indeed, and both grandma & mommy read like bitches.
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January 26th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
frappucino? methinks you need something a little, um, stronger after a day like that
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January 27th, 2009 at 12:34 am
A mom who feeds her kid popcorn so he doesn’t dirty the game controllers?
You, my friend, have secured your sainthood.
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